So I’ve
decided to take some indirect advice from a friend, and write in my blog more.
The topic is easy, it’s my life. Easy. Have you ever thought about your life
and how one thing leads to another and then another? Imagine recording every
moment. Imagine writing down every single tiny thing that happens and the
thoughts that go with it.
I’ve
been contemplating this for quite some time, and by placing my fingers on this
keyboard I am making it real. But let’s take a moment to consider the form, and
the content. Life, it happens continuously and in a row, right? But do we think
back to moments and feelings in a line and in chronological order? I certainly
don’t… So here’s my solution: I’m going to write it as it comes to me and as it
bothers me. I’ve probably said this before but this is my therapy. Not many
people I know, know my issues, but you dear reader, being my anonymous disguise,
you do.
To
be able to write about a life, there are so many things to consider, firstly
the characters, the people in your life that would be and are affected by
recording events. It’s quite hard to just start, especially in the middle.
There are many things that people don’t know, things that matter to you and the
stories you’re telling. Ah this is going to be one hell of a ride, good luck.
For my
first recollection I’ve chosen my 21st Birthday.
Did you
know I’m 21? Yes, and I’m almost 22. Still I can very clearly remember what the
smile on my face felt like when my brother stood up and told everyone in that
little hall that he loved his short sister. I don’t think I can ever forget
that night, but more importantly I won’t ever forget the smallest gestures. For
his speech, he played some background music, it was barely audible, but somehow
only I needed to hear it. Not one moment when I think of it, can I keep the
tears away. “Pretty Woman” reached so far into my heart, and said so much more than
anyone could ever imagine. That young soul standing there was secretly making
me the happiest person alive, and that without words.
Alright
tears in my eyes, let me take you to that night… well that event.
As for
any young girl I’m sure, a 21st birthday is a pretty big day. It’s
not big like a wedding but it is a pretty huge deal. I’d been thinking about it
for a while, and as I sort of have a reputation for throwing great, very clean
parties (back at home), I knew this was my chance to make my point and show
everyone who I am.
Now to
be able to tell this properly certain things need to be made clear. I live in
Pretoria, now with my brother, but for 3 years it was just me in my tiny
bachelor’s flat. Also my parents, great parents, aren’t as involved as other
people’s parents. They don’t plan parties, they don’t surprise in the
traditional sense and aren’t really too great at making a plan or sticking to
one. No judgement, it’s just something to remember always.
With my
parents not being planners, and my not having a huge family, my wanting to do a
rather big 21st was almost overlooked. I had permission to do
whatever I wanted, but money was always an issue. I finally managed to get my
parents to agree to let me use the Polish Hall for the whole thing. My best
friend, who plays a huge role in this event and many others, helped me a lot.
We tried to come up with the cheapest ideas for a great party. The hall I could
get for free for an evening because I’m Polish and my dad knows the Polish
Community’s “manager”. To fully use this private venue to our advantage, we
decided to do a formal dinner, with a party to follow and then sleeping over,
right there in the hall afterwards. Clever plan that was, we could get
completely drunk and stay safe while we slept it off.
As my
love life would have it, it wasn’t ready for a big important event and so the
boy I was seeing at the time backed out two weeks before the party. This is
actually, in retrospect, one of the better things to happen to me regarding men
leaving. (For more on THIS boy, see a later post)
As you
will most likely learn from other stories to follow, I almost always have a
crush or two in the back of my mind, and often a more main character that I am
crushing on harder. So on my list of guests I happen to have a boy that I had a
long standing crush on, a freshly rediscovered crush and of course a past
crush, with a bit of history. So the fact that the main man disappeared from
the story is actually to my advantage because I would be able to party freely
and flirt as I wished without the “main man” permanently attached to me.
Imagine having to entertain all these guests and be the star of the show while
having to also attend to a boy who isn’t entirely ready to commit to you while
you also have at least 3 other more eligible men around. No thanks. For any
other event, where you are not the main focus, having a date is fine, it’s not
necessary but it’s nice to have.
Continuing
with the guest list; my family and family friends. Actually an entire family,
that I grew up with. My dad’s best friend’s family. I was at his oldest son’s
wedding and the youngest son was the reason I had my first kiss (he was my
second). It was only right for them to be there. I invited another Polish
family but they were already back in Poland at the time. My family came in all
completeness. As I said, we are a small family, just me and my brother; my mom
and dad; my grandparents from my mom’s side; my uncle; and my mom’s aunt and
uncle. That makes 9 of us at the main table.
With the
Polish family I decided to seat fellow Polish people, the older boys, who
happened to all be crushes too. That accounts for 8 more people. That leaves
the Pretoria table and the Vaal table. These included friends from primary
school, high school, varsity, boyfriends of those friends and other Polish
people. Newly acquired friends, rekindled friendships from way back when and
friends of friends that were now my friends too. It’s sad that I can tell you
that people who supposedly knew me since forever were not there, many failing
to even reject my invite. It made me nervous that so many “dear friends’ had
rejected, but in the end I can honestly say that I didn’t notice their absence
at all. It’s so clichéd to say that it’s better to know who your true friends
are, but it honestly feels amazing to let off all that dead weight.
Some
only stayed a little while, some arrived late and some came back in the morning
to help clean up. I couldn’t have imagined better friends. Lol “Imagined
friends”, I’ve never had any of those.
It’s
Thursday night, my best friend and I are just finishing up at the theatre and
making our way to my hometown. She’s sleeping over, because we have an early
start the next day. We arrive at my parent’s house around 1am. Time for bed.
Friday
morning. Today is the day.
We wake
up to find my grandmother in the kitchen offering us breakfast. I’m so grateful
for her, they came a day earlier, to be sure to be here to offer her help
wherever she could. They even slept in the caravan so that my best friend would
have a place to sleep when we arrived, and so that my mom’s aunt and uncle
could sleep in the guest room for Friday night.
Thankfully
we had set up everything that needed to be moved to the hall as we’d arrived
last night, so all we had to do now was load my car, pop in the people and we
were on our way. It was going to be a busy morning. My brother and grandfather
took the bakkie (pick up truck), while my grandmother, my best friend and I
took my car. When we arrived at the hall, I realised we didn’t have the right
keys, which upset my grandfather. He’s quite a difficult person.
We
unloaded everything, and left my grandmother and brother there; my friend and I
took my grandfather home and then set off to find the man with the other set of
keys. We also bought the flowers, picked up the rest of the things we needed.
Getting back to the hall we finally opened up, took all the alcohol inside, set
up the tables and started explaining to my helpers what I wanted where. It was
already afternoon, and my best friend and I had to run off to get our hair
done.
Looking
pretty, well kind of, we went back to the hall. My friend took my brother to go
buy the balloons and have them filled with helium, while my grandmother and I
arranged the flowers and finished the décor. My DJ friend came over to drop off
the music he’d arranged, the “spit-braai” guy arrived with all his things and
started to set up. We decided to leave the keys with him, and guaranteed him we’d
be back soon, and then we finally managed to leave the hall to go home to change.
At home,
my mom’s aunt and uncle had already arrived, and my uncle from Cape Town too.
It was hectic trying to greet them and also get away from them so that we could
bath and get dressed. A party starting at 18:30 is just too early, LOL. My best
friend left as soon as she was done because we’d heard some of our out-of-town friends
were already there. I was about to leave when the rental car my uncle came in,
was parked behind my car, and the keys locked inside. You can’t imagine the
stress I was beginning to feel. After a while, and a few pushes, they moved the
car and rushing my brother and his girlfriend into the car, we were on our way.
Halfway there I freaked out; I really wanted to wear the (cheap) ring my
brother bought me because it was just so beautiful and special to me at that
point in my life.
Anyways,
arriving to the party there were already a few cars parked, luckily the car guard
(well the guy who lives in the hall that we hired as a car guard) was there to
assist them.
Before
we get to the actual arrival… let me describe the venue to you.
Theme:
Beauty and the Beast, the formal ball scene at least. Think Yellow, because it
makes me happy, think light hearted decoration, a few balloons, a few baby
photos, and carnations.
Between
the trees there’s a little gap… walking through it you are welcomed by two
hanging lines of white and yellow balloons, and helium balloons tied to logs…
the door to the hall had a string of fairy lights. Going through the door you’d
find the “photo” stage to your right, and to the left the “gifts” table, and
then the dinner tables. To the back of the hall were the dinner and drinks tables,
and then the bathrooms to the back left…
Alright back to the arrival…
When I
arrived I really wanted to make an entrance, but half the people weren’t there
yet and I really had to welcome the adults that had already arrived. People were
pretty impressed by the dress: my big-bell fairy tale light pink dress. I felt
like a princess and many people seemed to agree. Not everyone recognised me at first;
it was quite funny trying to explain that I was the birthday girl.
Soon
everyone was arriving and sitting down and trying to get things going. The
decision was quickly made to have everyone sit down, so that we could make the
speeches and start the dinner line up. My uncle was asked to be Master of
Ceremonies, basically because I knew he could do it since he did it for my mom’s
wedding. It was short and sweet; he opened the floor for my brother who proceeded
to make the nicest speech I’d ever heard, and all about me. J To thank everyone, I tried to say the thing’s I’d
been planning to say all week, but I think I failed quite badly, at least I
managed to thank everyone for coming. Then it was dinner time. Finally.
While
the family table got their food, I made the rounds and took photos with as many
people as possible. Also throughout the course of the first part of the evening
we tried to take as many stage photos as possible. We managed to get some great
group photos. After dinner things started to fall apart as far as I could see.
Most of my friends went outside, some to smoke. My mom started nagging me that
there was no music and that she really wanted to dance. My grandfather was
getting annoying again and hinted constantly that he wanted to go home. My
grandmother didn’t want to leave but what can you do? My dad finally gave in
and took the four old people home. My uncle seemed to be having fun talking to
the people standing around, with their ages ranging from 18 to 29 it shouldn’t
have been too hard.
When my
dad got back it must have been around 22:00. My mother was ready to go home,
luckily they’d brought the bedding I forgot to pack. My parents and my uncle
left, most of my friend were already tipsy and I could finally start drinking
properly. I changed from my big ball dress to a tight bright pink short dress
with polka dots. Now the party starts…
With
music blaring we tried to convince people to come in and dance, we even found
the switch for the UV light. I was drinking my champagne, from the bottle because
I’m classy like that. I got to dance with my "freshly rediscovered crush", but we
are just friends, haha. He kept talking about his girlfriend, but still called
me hot. I like my compliments, I really do. My best friend came running, with
her phone in hand, saying we should make a video. So I grabbed my big pink 21
balloon, tied it to my waist, grabbed more white helium balloons from outside
and tied them to my wrists, then we set off. I’d run up to anyone and everyone,
and say: “Say happy birthday, now kiss me” So many people thought it was a
photo, so the video is hilarious. I got a few epic long lasting cheek kisses,
and some redo kisses. I got hugs, and one guy even pinched my ass. I’m sure his
girlfriend wouldn’t approve. Someone was sucking up the helium and I decided
that for once in my life I also wanted to do it. My best friend grabbed a balloon,
opened it and handed it to me. My first words were: “Thank you so much for
coming,” “It’s my birthday bitches!” then I ran inside and asked more people to
wish me a happy birthday. I’m sure it seems I was pretty drunk, but I wasn’t. I
get overly excited on fun. I love being the centre of attention, and I love
being funny. I get incredibly hyper, and hilarious when other people are
drinking, it saves me money too.
Then
somehow we managed to get EVERYONE inside, and I stood up on the stage. Phone
ready to film, I tried to quiet the group so I could say thank you. It was hard
work, I ended up swearing, which only made it more me. I swear a lot.
Seriously, my favourite word is FUCK. The video here is also quite funny, as
you see people grabbing my shoes and others trying to pour their drinks into my
champagne bottle. It was a truly disgusting concoction in the end. I think I
ended up hiding it behind a plant. With everyone pouring, and hardly anyone
being sober anymore, my hands were so sticky with alcohol, still it was a great
moment. We started dancing again, and many went outside. Some people went home,
and others tried to start the fire outside, behind the hall. (By the way, this
venue is great, I’ve been going to parties here since I was born, but I’ll
explain that some other time.)
Everyone
talks about birthday sex. Yes it would’ve been so cool, but I could never
understand the logistics. I mean, where, when, how? I am a pretty good, self-acclaimed
though, responsible host. I could never leave people to go and be selfish. Besides
the one I really wanted to be with that night had already left, having got high
in the parking lot and then instead of becoming happy, became more mellow,
which caused him to leave due to too many of my friends asking him to re-join
the party. (I don’t do weed, just for the record. Never have.)
Other
than that I knew I wasn’t going to get anything from anyone else there, not
even a kiss, so I didn’t dwell on it. I turned to the music, played my ultimate
favourite party songs and tried to convince those who could still walk, to
dance with me. My "freshly rediscovered crush" came inside to dance with me again,
for one song. How I wished he could’ve been more into me, to this day I think I
still wish for it.
That left
me and my “older cousin” dancing. This was around midnight… There he told me
that he was proud of the person I’d become, and that he’s be taking care of me
if I wanted to get trashed. I didn’t want to, so we decided to see what was
happening everywhere else. As we left the hall, we found one of my better new
friends, making out with a guy from our friend’s friends circle. We spotted
blood between their faces, which was quite worrying. Trying to separate a drunken
girl that is pretty much wrapped around a guy on a chair is quite a challenging
feat. It turns out she’d walked into a tree, and cut her face. In the morning
she had an incredibly bruised face, and a few scary scratches, luckily for her
when she woke up she was still drunk, so the pain hadn’t struck yet.
Thankfully
my “older cousin” said he’d help her get cleaned up and fix her face, while I
went to see who was still awake at the fire. Many people had gone to sleep by
now, and only my “freshly rediscovered crush”, “younger cousin” and one more
person were awake. We sat at the fire for a little bit, I think I danced around
it too. There was talk of smoking weed and then going to sleep, so my “freshly
rediscovered crush” carried me (peppa) to the hall, I wasn’t wearing shoes
anymore okay! People were asleep all over the place, and it seemed to me my
bedding was shared between them all. Being a little drunk, I loudly started
complaining about it, but finally settled down on the floor, with my “freshly
rediscovered crush”, sharing a thin blanket and using my big ball dress as a
pillow. In South Africa, in the Vaal, which is almost on the river, it gets
frieken cold here in winter. My birthday is in August, winter. I love winter,
and I love freezing weather, but I swear this was one of my coldest nights
ever. I was shivering so bad that my teeth were rattling. I can’t explain how
cold it was, even my “freshly rediscovered crush” hugging me to try warm me up
wasn’t helping, though I must say it was really comfy.
Apparently
while I was outside, people were throwing up all over both bathrooms, and blocking
the toilets. I have such great friends that one of them cleaned up both
bathrooms while I was asleep. He didn’t even complain about it, I almost didn’t
even find out who cleaned it. I was woken pretty early in the morning, people
were making arrangements for lifts because certain people got left behind when
their friends got upset and left. I also discovered that there was a “bed” made
for me along the wall, next to my best friend. She claims that I didn’t hear
her telling me to sleep with her, and that I was more drunk than I remember. Ah
well, “good freezing closeness” memories I guess.
The
people from far, left early, while some friends came back. A friend that I never
really officially called my best friend, but seems to be one of those life-long
friends, came back to fetch the guy who cleaned the bathroom, but also to help
us clean up the hall. She’s just as wonderful.
We
cleaned up and packed away everything. By lunch time it was all over, everyone
had left and the hall was clean again. The party was over, but I wasn’t
actually 21 yet.
My dad,
and my uncle, came to fetch things from the hall and everything made its way
home. At home, my mom’s aunt and uncle were on their way home as well. So I
thanked them for my gift (which I hadn’t seen yet) and said goodbye. The rest
of my family and I sat down in the sunniest room in our house, and while
discussing the party, I opened my gifts, photographing each one and taking care
to appreciate everyone.
I got
great gifts for my birthday, some that made me cry so much, like my epic
Coca~Cola t-shirt that my brother made me, with my nickname on it. I got things
that made me realise that I do have people that I know me, but my favourite
memory is really of the entire weekend. I couldn’t have imagined a more perfect
celebration. It wasn’t without fault, and as I type this it seems to have
missed a lot, but to me, and only for me, it was one of my most favourite
events.
This
post isn’t greatly personal, and it doesn’t have much juicy information at all,
but I think it sort of describes me. Perhaps I just haven’t stewed too much on
this one, but there it is.
PS: This is only part one of the 21st celebrations. I had a second party in Pretoria...