Tuesday, November 6, 2012

It wasn’t a subtle hint at all...


Yes there is no better feeling than crying and letting it all out. It’s true that Love and finally getting to pee after holding it in for a while are great feelings, but seriously – If you cry because you’re just that happy you know it’s true… Maybe that’s why people cry at their wedding or when people die. It’s the reason a child cries when they get hurt, why teenagers cry in a romantic movie (boys don’t admit it but they feel it too sometimes). It’s why an adult cries when they are alone or when they realise someone did notice what was important to them. It’s that moment of realisation that what you are feeling is immense and without a doubt exactly what you are feeling.
Imagine we didn’t have bad moments, do you think we wouldn’t need to cry ever again? Wrong.
I can’t express the amount of good it does you to cry. I have no proof and no other stories to back up my theory except my very own experiences. The way I know it, is that when you’ve cried your face feels tight and your eyes feel so much bigger than normal. The next day, depending on how much you’ve cried, your eyes will be whiter. I cry often and not in a depressed kind of way and I can guarantee it’s why my eyes are as white as they are today. Maybe if I explain it this way it will make more sense. In the same way that a filter collects pieces of dirt passing through water, when we cry we are filtering all our emotions and feelings and sorting them into their respective appropriate places.

On a completely different note:
I seldom take the time to do something that is important to me and actually finish it. But recently I met someone who without even knowing it made me feel very inspired to try again – and I did. I did a few things that helped me feel better, but it didn’t go too far, somehow the inspiration wasn’t enough. Then a mere few days ago I met someone (old)* again, but this time it wasn’t a subtle hint at inspiration. No, this time it came silently but quickly into my mind without ever informing my heart, and started doing things that I’d always wanted to do. Now my heart is caught up in it too and I hope I won’t let go of it soon. This feeling I have, objectively and subjectively, makes me feel like me again. This is who I am and who I want to be and I want to start here. This is no longer a dream but a reality and from this moment I will focus on all of it simultaneously because that is just how it works in my mind.
If you are ready for it, then you could take this intriguing journey with me and I promise the things you will find will be the most intimate version of me available. For in the way that I write and put my thoughts into something I care about is the most “me” I can be.

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