Fuck what if I never find you? The fear of never reaching a
goal is absolutely horrific. It’s not so much a goal though, it’s more like the
entire purpose of my life.
Our hearts break, often. And the courageous few of us will
keep getting up, having faith that it’s all worth it in the end, worth spending
the time to perhaps meet that one person. Sometimes you meet someone and you
wonder… Is this the one? Could I love THIS person forever? Mostly though it
ends up as either a huge fail or disappointment. As with this (the way I feel
right now), you can sit at home and be upset about it, which for a little while
makes it feel better, but eventually you should get up again. Trying, even if
it’s for the millionth time, is always better than giving up.
Equally you can blame everyone you meet, or even yourself,
but that’s not the reason it didn’t work is it? Maybe you were on different
paths, maybe your ideas about life, love and everything in between are different,
or maybe you’re just not meant to be… Accepting it is the easiest way to get
over it and enjoy your life.
For me, this all happens often, but I’ve found that most
people I’ve encountered, that are no longer in my life per se, have taught me
some extremely valuable lessons, be it about myself, or what I like, maybe what
I dislike or even what I never knew I wanted. I don’t have to love them
anymore, or care about their lives and choices either, I don’t have to stay in
contact or worry about running into them. All I need is to become more of
myself, more of who my “one” is looking for.
I can’t say I’m grateful for the things they’ve done to me,
nor can I say I don’t hate apart of
them, but given the choice? I would do it all the same way again… My life is so
full… so wonderfully full of experiences and lessons learnt. I won’t ever give
them the pleasure of having been important to me anymore. It’s just me and what
I have left.
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